The Gospel a la Joseph Choi
My friend Joseph is great. To understand the metaphor, you must understand what a poop dollar is. A poop dollar is a dollar on the ground. You go to pick it up, and you’re like, wow I found a free dollar! But when you pick it up you realize the dollar is wrapped around a bunch of poop, and there are some messed up people out there. With that knowledge, enjoy!
First I want to ask you to ask yourselves what Christmas is about. A lot of you guys would probably say it’s about being a good person, being grateful for friends and family, giving to others, etc. Others might point out that it’s Jesus’ birthday – some really cool dude who was born 2000 years ago somewhere in the middle east.
To me, the idea behind Christmas is that it marks the beginning of the reconciliation of God and Man. You know, like that caroling song Hark the Herald: “Peace on Earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled.” It’s part of an underlying concept that a surprisingly large number of people don’t necessarily understand (including many “Christians”).
I’m not quite sure how to say all of this succinctly so I’ll just say it:
We are all poops in some way, and we’ve all done poopy things in our lives. Cheating, lying, being jealous of each other, hating each other, on and on. From the Pope to Hitler, the Red Cross volunteer to that guy on Breaking Bad, all of us have messed up somehow in our lives. Unfortunately, this means that we’ve all fallen short of perfection. Aaaaand there’s no place for imperfection in a perfect place, like heaven.
This is where humanity goes “Gr88888”. We try to be all holy and righteous, we try to do all the right things with prayers and chants and whatnot, but any dollar with poop on it is still just a poop dollar. When comparing the nicest, kindest, person ever (a lot of dollar!) and the meanest, vilest person ever (not much dollar!) – they are ultimately still both poop dollars because they both have poop on them. They are both imperfect. Unfortunately, this implies that you and I are on the same boat as rapists, murderers, etc. “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” This is kinda sucks.
So imagine this: upon being born, you inherit a dollar with poop on it, and we learn that we need to give the bank a dollar. But the bank won’t take poop dollars – they only take clean dollars. So we keep trying to scrape the poop off our dollar. Some of us give up, but others manage to remove all the visible poop! Yet the bank still knows with their poop dollar scanner that there are still poop molecules on it.
This is where Christmas comes in. It turns out your bro Jesus was born perfect, so he has dollars with no poop on them! He comes up to you and asks you, “Hey bro, you wanna trade your poop dollar for this clean dollar? In fact, this isn’t just any clean dollar, this dollar stays clean. So if your hands still have poop on them from touching this dollar, the banked will still accept it!!” A lot of people would say “Yeah man! I’ll trade you my poop dollar for your clean dollar!”
And they trade dollars, and the bank accepts your clean dollar. Not the dollar that you tried to clean, but the dollar you received as a gift upon trading in your poop dollar with Jesus.
The true meaning of Christmas isn’t about trying to be a good person or being thankful for things. It’s about the day that Jesus came into the world to give us a chance to believe in Him, that he saves us from our sins, not our own works and deeds. It’s the reconciliation between those who have sinned (all of us) and God, at Jesus’ expense. The ultimate sacrifice.
I’m sorry if I came across as preachy in any way. The last thing I want is for you to feel like I’m stuffing religion down your throat. But it means a lot to me that you guys took the time to read this through. I love you all, and I hope you all have a very merry Christmas.